Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
