Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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