my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize