is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
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He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
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Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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