forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
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I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
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They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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