this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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