I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Randomize
