You're so nebulous sometimes
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
