I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
