and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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