i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
