next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
