I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
