Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
