Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.

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  (714): But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out. http://tfl.nu/5n0s
  Replies (11) Good night (632) Bad night (1121)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

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  (919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/73qd
  Replies (444) Good night (113751) Bad night (10237)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it

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  (334): I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it http://tfl.nu/u4cv
  Replies (14) Good night (4959) Bad night (1106)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'

  (740): View more from Ohio

  i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.

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  (614): so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you' (740): i literally fucking hate you so fucking much. http://tfl.nu/7yl2
  Replies (83) Good night (34185) Bad night (1536)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.

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  (630): If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus. http://tfl.nu/iii0
  Replies (15) Good night (1507) Bad night (5328)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.

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  (503): Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out. http://tfl.nu/zwrd
  Replies (9) Good night (3689) Bad night (807)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?

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  (360): It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink? http://tfl.nu/zyp6
  Replies (5) Good night (1032) Bad night (1542)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me

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  (763): I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me http://tfl.nu/q7kn
  Replies (5) Good night (1300) Bad night (794)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN

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  (978): Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN http://tfl.nu/dg4w
  Replies (5) Good night (2429) Bad night (562)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates

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  (717): I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates http://tfl.nu/o8si
  Replies (5) Good night (531) Bad night (1136)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I was told my cock was a religious experience.

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  (913): I was told my cock was a religious experience. http://tfl.nu/13mw
  Replies (6) Good night (1945) Bad night (562)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me

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  (203): I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me http://tfl.nu/c2wo
  Replies (6) Good night (1109) Bad night (367)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.

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  (508): It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls. http://tfl.nu/yq0i
  Replies (1) Good night (783) Bad night (246)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight

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  (630): Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight http://tfl.nu/q3l9
  Replies (6) Good night (891) Bad night (264)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.

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  (513): I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual. http://tfl.nu/6x4d
  Replies (3) Good night (717) Bad night (228)

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