im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I understand Curling. That high.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.