If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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