Texts From Last Night

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  (406): View more from Montana

  Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs

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  (406): Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer. (1-406): Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs http://tfl.nu/ro47
  Replies (46) Good night (991) Bad night (4621)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.

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  (478): closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college. http://tfl.nu/w89j
  Replies (17) Good night (4430) Bad night (781)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?

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  (225): I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign? http://tfl.nu/j7ur
  Replies (21) Good night (1241) Bad night (7381)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.

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  (973): i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones. http://tfl.nu/f4fy
  Replies (25) Good night (4924) Bad night (881)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.

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  (508): I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals. http://tfl.nu/elpv
  Replies (3) Good night (2898) Bad night (852)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.

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  (701): All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats. http://tfl.nu/27ky
  Replies (2) Good night (679) Bad night (1232)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I didn't know

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  (703): You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday... (410): I didn't know http://tfl.nu/kzg0
  Replies (1) Good night (1656) Bad night (615)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!

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  (210): Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together! http://tfl.nu/bu70
  Replies (3) Good night (1334) Bad night (607)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.

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  (250): You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette. http://tfl.nu/i44j
  Replies (1) Good night (801) Bad night (385)
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  (518): View more from New York

  We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours

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  (518): We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours http://tfl.nu/zbw4
  Replies (9) Good night (1089) Bad night (493)
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  (310): View more from California

  I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.

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  (310): I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting. http://tfl.nu/ex4c
  Replies (1) Good night (838) Bad night (523)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?

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  (915): I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like? http://tfl.nu/163q
  Replies (5) Good night (493) Bad night (952)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling

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  (215): All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling http://tfl.nu/arff
  Replies (1) Good night (350) Bad night (598)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.

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  (647): We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present. http://tfl.nu/h55y
  Replies (4) Good night (755) Bad night (307)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it

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  (478): I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it http://tfl.nu/z8oy
  Replies (2) Good night (671) Bad night (211)

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