all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
