what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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