FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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