Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
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I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
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I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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