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• (847): View more from Illinois

  O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there

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  21 Sketchy Drug Deals That Are Scary AF

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.

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  17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"

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