he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
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it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
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Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.