My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"