New invention idea: vibrating tampons
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
