Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.