she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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