3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms