You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
