I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
