normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
