upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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