Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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