Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
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Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
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He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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