i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
