You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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