she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
