My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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