So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
