Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
