i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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