My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
