She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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