i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
