Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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