My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
