I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
