if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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