My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
