whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
