we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
