Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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