Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
