She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
