Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
