He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
