he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
