Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
