so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I am one with the molecules
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
