Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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