You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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