Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
last night I used snow as a chaser
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
