Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
