Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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