lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just had sex bonerless
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
