Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize