I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
