ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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