i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
